John's Blog

I collected these from various sources.

PICA - A fighter pilot barely made height and weight, maybe 5′2 110 lbs soaking wet. Pre-Injection Captain America.
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RUBYN - While in Japan a fighter pilot got beat up by Japanese locals outside of a Japanese bar. Roughed Up By Ninjas.
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SMITH - Shit Myself In The Helo (Helicopter).
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TOUCHDOWN - At first the pilot thought it was a cool call sign because he loved football. Actual origin: Touch of Downs.
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TUBA - Tight Uniform, Big Ass.
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SKITTLES - Fighter pilot had a bag of Skittles in a flight suit pocket, they ended up all over the cockpit.
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FISH - 6′4” female pilot. Fu@% Is She Huge.
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OTAF - Pilot had a reputation for being a tool. One Tool Accounted For.
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MAILMAN - None of the pilot’s kids looked like him.
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BALLS - A female fighter pilot, a great boss, a terrific pilot and just a great all-around person. She Looks Like A Bitch (acronym backwards)
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BUCK - Pilot was landing a C-130 when a 8-point buck decided to play frogger on the runway.
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IRENE - A pilot that poked holes in everything, questioned everybody, and was generally just a neverending nuisance. I Ruin Everything No Exceptions.
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DORA - Female pilot got lost on her way to her new unit in Afghanistan. Dora the explorer.
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PEANUT - The pilot was a one-man comment gallery.
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CONAN - A very physically fit Marine fighter pilot. The callsign fit him for that reason and also because he Climbs On Navy Asian Nurses.
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SHOWTIME - A fighter pilot crapped himself during flight with the squadron commander in the back seat. Spread His Oder While Tanking In the Middle East. Note: ‘Tanking’ means aerial refueling.
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SAMMY - The pilot was black and Jewish like Sammy Davis Junior.
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BUSMASTER - The pilot stole the tour bus of another fighter squadron and was chased down the interstate near Virginia Beach by that squadron’s commanding officer. He stole another bus and drove it to Key West where he spray painted over all the squadron’s logos on the bus.
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MEAT - Pilot had bushy eyebrows. My Eyebrows Almost Touch.
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PIPES - A fighter pilot played the bagpipes.
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DINGLE - The Marine Harrier pilot’s last name was Berry.
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GLOC - The pilot had a thing for dating barely legal women. Guaranteed Loss of Commission.
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U-TURN - The pilot had an unfortunate string of in-flight problems where he had to declare an emergency, abort the mission, then turn around and return to base.
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BOOMER - A fighter pilot accidentally broke the sound barrier over a small town back in the day.
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NASA - The pilot was essentially a robot. No Apparent Situational Awareness.
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SWIPER - A Flight Surgeon was out partying with his fellow pilots in Las Vegas. They went to a strip club. He was so drunk that instead of tipping a stripper he pulled out his credit card and ran it between her butt cheeks.